I've gotten a couple of notes from people who commented that the spankings in my stories seem very severe. One person wrote that he loved my stories but found the spankings unrealistically hard. Another gentleman, who apparently had been caned as student at a British Public School, commented that the young ladies in my stories would have to be neigh indestructible to take the sort of punishment they got in my stories. Their shapely bottoms would have to be covered with bull's hide, he thought.
I was surprised by this reaction, so perhaps a discussion on spanking and caning might be useful. Another view of what I've written on this web page can be found on my web page One Way to Give a Hard Spanking
As you might guess from the fact that I write both M/F and F/M stories, I'm a switch, although given the opportunity I tend to give spankings than get them. I like to think that switches make the best tops. For one thing, you know how the implements feel.
In my stories some of the settings and plots are fictional, but the spankings are all based on real life spankings I've taken or given. I love a good hard spanking and I've had the pleasure of giving some hard spankings as well.
Before you run off and pull down the panties of your local naughty boy or girl, some additional discussion is probably in order.
On this web page I'm going to write about my view of spanking, but it is not the only point of view. People give and take spankings for reasons that are as different as the people involved. Some bottoms involved in D/s relationships hate being spanked. But spanking is part of their submission. They get spanked when they fall short of their goals as submissives or perhaps just for the pleasure of their dominant. For others spanking is not erotic but speaks to something deep in their psyche. For me spanking is at the core of my sexuality. For me, spanking is intensely erotic.
How hard people like to be spanked depends on the situation and their tastes. A naughty girl who is panting for an orgasm may enjoy a harder spanking than a girl who has been standing in the corner waiting for her punishment. One blogger, who has now moved on to other arenas, wrote that when she got her first spanking, she got a hand spanking consisting of about twenty slaps on her bare bottom. She wrote that this was about as hard a spanking as she could take at that time and still find it erotic.
Hand spankings are wonderful, especially over the knee hand spankings. Hand spankings are great for those naughty boy/naughty girl scenes. When you give a hand spanking there is the delicious feel of the bottom under your hand. Some people never go beyond hand spankings.
Probably a good rule of thumb is to stay with hand spankings until the the person being spanked wants more and your hand is getting sore. One of the problems with hand spankings is that your hand may get about as sore as the spankee's bottom. I've seen some pretty hard hand spankings in videos and I've wondered what the spanker's hand feels like afterward.
If you're spanking away and your hand is starting to hurt while that little slut across your lap keeps indicating that they want more, it's time to get a paddle. You should probably still start out with a hand spanking, but after your hand starts to hurt, switch to the paddle.
Leather paddles are good to start with. They feel more like a hand spanking. If your naughty boy or girl is making bratty comments about how no lessons are being learned under the leather paddle, its time to move on to a wooden paddle.
When you're giving (or taking) an erotic spanking, warm-up is important. Warm-up starts with something light (like a hand spanking, a leather paddle or a light paddle) before moving on to something more severe. This allows both physical and psychological preparation for a harder spanking.
Little breaks, for caresses, rubs and cuddles are important while giving a spanking. For example, I would not enjoy taking forty strokes with the ruler paddle without a break. But if I get twenty strokes, then a break while my bottom and the base of my cock is caressed and then the next twenty strokes, the paddling will be very enjoyable.
In most of the stories I've written the spankings start out with what I call the ruler paddle. I had the ruler paddle in mind when I wrote these stories. This paddle is about a quarter inch thick and about 18 inches long. It stings a lot and hurts, but has very little "thud". When I get spanked, my "punishment" usually starts with twenty to forty strokes across my ass with the ruler paddle. I love to get twenty strokes over my "panties" first. When I'm ordered to pull my "panties" down, I'm reminded of how much more the ruler paddle hurts on the bare bottom.
When getting a spanking, people like different sensations. Back when I spanked my beloved, she did not like "sting" so I never spanked her with the ruler paddle. I would give her a hand spanking, then some leather paddle, perhaps some cane and then some heavy wood paddle.
One problem with heavier paddles is they can numb the bottom. For example, after a hard paddling with a heavy paddle, a caning might not feel like much. A light paddle, like the ruler paddle, hurts nicely, but does not cause numbing. The bottom will be warmed up and able to fully appreciate a caning.
Canes have a fearsome reputation, based the way children were beaten in some British Public Schools in "the bad old days". The schoolmaster giving a caning would put his whole body behind the cane stroke, giving it as hard as he could and still aim the stroke. The person getting the caning was bent over, either touching their toes or bent over an object like a desk. This tightened the skin over their buttocks, making the cane strokes hurt even more. In many cases the cane strokes broke the skin or left deep welts that took days to fade.
The kind of savage caning that children received in Public School do not resemble the canings that most people give (and receive) in erotic spanking. Many people who get erotic canings love the way the cane feels. Most canes are light, so there is very little deep thud in the stroke, but the stroke is concentrated in the thin line of the cane. The strokes hurt, with a sort of burning across the line of the stroke. The person giving an erotic caning will not usually raise the cane beyond shoulder height. The intent in giving the cane strokes it to make them hurt, but not in a way that is unbearable. The girls and boys who get caned in my stories are usually lying on a bed, with pillows under their hips. This pushes the bottom up a little, making it easier to spank the lower part of the buttocks, but the skin is not stretched tightly. Clenching the buttocks can cause the cane to bounce off, so I think that it is a nice touch to give extra strokes for clenching or squirming.
I usually get twenty to forty strokes with the cane, after getting my bottom warmed with the ruler paddle. In reality the cane has savage associations, but in fantasy the idea of being caned by Nanny or a schoolmistress is erotic.
The tip of the cane travels faster than the length of the cane. So the buttock under the tip will be punished more than the buttock toward the disciplinarian. I like a spanking to punish both buttocks evenly. So I'll give a caning on one side, the a little break where I'll caress my naughty girls bottom and rub her clit. Then I'll move to the other side and give the rest of the caning.
Rattan canes have a sort of medium level of pain. Synthetic canes, made of nylon, delrin or teflon are heavier and hurt more. They can also be more difficult to control since the cane flops around more.
Spankings on the thighs hurt a lot more than spankings on the buttocks. I like to give extra "punishment" strokes on the thighs when my naughty girl clenches her buttocks, squirms or moves out of position. If you spank the tights however, you should not spank as hard as you do when you spank the bottom. I once got a strapping where I got forty strokes across my ass and then ten across my thighs. The strokes across my thighs were given with about the same amount of force as those that I got across my bottom, but they hurt much more, almost more than I could take. The strokes on my thighs also left amazing welts, which took days to fade. So be careful when spanking on the thighs. If you do spank the thighs, never go lower than the middle of the thighs. You can cause serious harm spanking near the back of the knees.
After a paddling with a light paddle and a caning, the buttocks should be blushed hot pink or crimson with some nice welts. I like to finish a spanking with a hard paddling on that sore welted bottom. Small heavy paddles hurt the most. For example, the infamous Vermont Country Store bath brush or the Hanson Paddle Werks ping-pong style paddle. These implements really hurt and may leave bruises. I should point out, however, that the buttocks can take an amazing amount of punishment without any lasting harm. I joke sometimes that the Goddess made buttocks for spanking.
I have never cried during a spanking, but I long for it to happen. I think that if it ever does happen, I will be over "Mommy's" knee, getting a long hard spanking on my sore welted bottom with the Hanson ping-pong paddle. Perhaps the combination of the pain and the mindset of being a naughty little boy getting spanked by Mommy might finally bring tears.
How hard people like to be spanked obviously depends on the individual. Some women comment that their hormonal cycles can effect their sensitivity to pain. If you get spanked frequently, you can usually take a harder spanking. Sometimes this can be a problem. If you get paddled a lot you may develop what is sometimes called "leather butt". The skin on our bottom thickens and starts to lose sensitivity. The only cure that I've read about for "leather butt" is to stop getting paddled for a while (perhaps having canings instead).
If you like spanking there are two important rules to remember: spankings are supposed to hurt and spankings are supposed to be fun. A good top can reach out and feel a bit of what the bottom is feeling. Between talking to the bottom and feeling how much they can take, in the ideal case the bottom will never have to tell the top that a spanking hurts too much. The top will know.
When I have done spanking scenes that worked they have been the peak experiences of my life. Nothing I've experienced has been better.